Family Dynamics

       In Wednesday's class we talked about our families and about the family we will be staying with, the Thomases. It is almost this part of the field study that makes me the most nervous - everything will be so different and new and overwhelming and hard, it will be so important to have some place safe to return to at the end of every day. Which means having a good relationship with the Thomas family. Heather asked us to think about our own family dynamics and how that might translate to our host family. Living away from home makes it easier to see what my family/home is like. It is so nice to go home during breaks. I love all the people there and they all love me, which is so reassuring. It is marvelous to know that there are people who will love you no matter what and help me out with anything. In my family, my mom stays at home. She takes care of the house, the kids, cooking meals, doing laundry, paying bills. All the kids help out, of course. Everyone has their own jobs to do and is responsible for taking care of their own things. My dad is super busy with his job, being a dentist, but he also has many projects outside of school. I think this is something unique to my family - we all work together, and work a lot. Some past projects: pruning fruit trees and picking fruit, bottling/drying fruit, selling stuff at Farmer's market, taking care of bees, extracting honey, making candles, all kinds of projects around the house and yard - fences, sheds, walls, decks....currently my family is working on fixing up this old, Victorian-style house. When I go home for breaks I know I am going to be part of the latest project - like this Christmas I tore down walls and trimming at the old house. My family is pretty close knit, we eat meals together, watch movies together, play basketball and board games together.

     From Heather's description, the Thomas family is not quite like this...they eat meals separately, most of their children have grown up and left, etc. This is not to say they are not a close-knit family - it sounds like the Thomases would have stayed in the United States except they wanted to be near family. My concern is being too shy and not becoming friends with the Thomases. Heather warned us they weren't going to force their friendship on us, which means we have to put forth the effort to get to know them and become friends with them. I am afraid and nervous about this, although I am not really sure why...I have made friends before, I know how to do it. It's just that in this case, I really want to please and impress the Thomases and have a good relationship with them. I want to be able to talk freely with them and learn things about their lives. I wonder how our cultural differences will affect this process, or if it will affect it at all? The Thomases have lived in the U.S. and have been hosting BYU students for a few years now, they are not completely unaware of our culture, although we might be unaware of theirs.

       So, what can I do to get to know them and create a comfortable atmosphere in their home? Heather mentioned watching soap operas together - bonding moment! Also helping out around the house, with cooking or dishes or cleaning. I have to not be shy! Of course don't be insufferably gregarious, but ask questions and be friendly. Okay, thinking about it all is making me a little less nervous. I am excited to get to know the Thomases!